Wasn’t Me

An original poem at charles-carreon.com

It wasn’t me

They caught me creeping’ in the client’s trust fund

It wasn’t me

I say it was just Tara my hun

It wasn’t me

They promised I’d get paid

It wasn’t me

Without rent money I wasn’t getting laid

It wasn’t me

Remember, I have plans and plans and plans.

Charles Carreon Esq.

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2 Comments

  1. annbransom

     /  June 21, 2012

    Dear Mr. Carreon,

    I know for a fact that you stole that screenshot from me. In addition, to the exclusive trademarks & copyrights to anything I have ever uploaded to the Internet or thought about in my mind, I also hold the trademarks and copyrights on the following phrases:

    1. “You are off my Christmas Card List”
    2. “Mysteriously refusing to eat pork”
    3. “How Dare You Invoke Red Dwarf?!”
    4. “Sadism isn’t sadism in the new world”

    That is just to name a few, Sir. I have no evidence whatsoever that you have abused these trademarks, but as you yourself have demonstrated something doesn’t actually have to have happened in order for one to sue over it.  Rest assured you will be hearing from my counsel. She is six. You’re probably familiar with her brilliant work on such cases as Frassy vs The Cafeteria’s Stubborn Refusal to Serve Square Pizza Every Day and Frassy vs That Kid Who Took My Turn As Line Leader.  She practically wrote the book on “I Know You Are, But What Am I” case law.

    This is your official notice to cease and desist.  Otherwise, my attorney is going to stomp a legal hole in your un-American, self important, narcissistic, greedy, washed up ass.  Or as she more eloquently put it, “Nanny Nanny Boo Boo. Stick your head in doo doo.”

    Doo doo, Sir.

    Doo doo.

    Sincerely,

    Ann Bransom

  2. How dare you Ann Bransom. How. Dare. You. I cannot infringe upon any of your copyrights on this site as my wife Tara is a Librarian and therefor I can lend digital materials to any computer I wish. Have you ever been to a library? That is how they work. Not only do I find you accusations baseless but also defamatory of myself, and my trademark (Internet Douchery) and request that you send me a cheque for $2,000,000,000,000. If you do not do so by June 24, 2012 I will be forced to file a federal lawsuit against you under the Lehman Act. I also adamantly request that you do not further use my name, my wife’s, my daughter’s, or any variation thereof. This includes Carreon, Charles, Tara, Maria, Chas, Chuck, Charlie, Twatwaffle, Douchebag, and any word with letters contained in those words.

    Because you have posted these terms:

    1. “You are off my Christmas Card List”
    2. “Mysteriously refusing to eat pork”
    3. “How Dare You Invoke Red Dwarf?!”
    4. “Sadism isn’t sadism in the new world”

    on my library, they are now public works and may be shared as I see fit. Also I request a larger picture than provided on your twitter profile, as drawing a penis on such a small scale is hard, all Tara can get on the picture is the tip. Also since you posted on my website without me giving you exclusive permission, I will also be filing charges against you for cyber-vandalism.

    Doo doo at you too,
    Charles Carreon Esq

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