HOW DARE THEY!?! DEFAMATION! These twits over at the Seattle Times said I was impotent! Let me quote this.
Ask anyone. My dick works. ANYONE! Tara can tell you. Our goat… I mean… I’m having a really bad day here. I thought I’d sit an meditate, with my cowboy hat on, dreaming of being John Wayne and Matthew Inman was some guide with a weird accent. Then what happens… NAZIS! I am going to sue the Seattle Times for:
- One billion dollars. Because my dick does work.
- Their domain name.
- Them to do fluff pieces on me for eternity.
- 60 dinosaurs. That’s right, mess with my erection, I get lots of dinos.
- All of their staff members pictures for Tara’s art.
Charles Carreon Esq, Properly Functioning Men Parts.