Guest Blog!

Sometimes I hate Wikipedia, but sometimes it’s my go to source for information! You might think that’s weird but it’s not, it’s like the way David Winn Miller uses the courts for evil, instead of the way Charles uses them (for money justice.) Want to know more about David Winn Miller? Go to Wikipedia!

Except don’t go for the article about my husband, or my library’s legal troubles. Wikipedia is not a legitimate source, and it run by the Illuminati Nihilists at the Facebooks, probably. ZUCKERBERG, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE!?

For example look at the article for Ken’s hate-blog ( As you can see, it doesn’t have ANYTHING AT ALL about him trying to destroy us. It doesn’t even talk about his lawyering.

So yeah, Wikipedia is pretty much a nonsource (Nonsense?) and you never really want to refer to it, except when you do because it IS the encyclopedia of the people and not the lame stream media. And if you’re not sure if a source is good or not, ask a librarian!


Satirical Tara Carreon

All charity is scam. AKA Relinquish your money to I.

2 gazillion dollars a year is misappropriated by charities. All charities are evil. If you need to give your money away, do it the American way, invest it. Right now I am accepting all levels of investments in my next level of DinoCloning(TM) the amazing… Raccoonosaurus Rex. After the success of the Kittenosaurus Rex I’ve had investors lined up around the block, but now through my secret blog (the one you are reading now) I can accept your investments immediately. Just be a pal and leave your full name, SNN, bank account number, bank routing number, date of birth, place of birth, and mother’s maiden name in my comment section with an investment amount. Remember, don’t donate, dinoate.

Charitable Investment Manager,

Charles Carreon Esq.

SMISH, SMIDS, and Smurfs.

Social Media Induced Self Hate (SMISH) and Social Media Induced Delusional Syndrome (SMIDS) are two undiagnosed, non-researched, unproven, and unpopular diseases much like a Smurf infestation. We all know Smurfs and cats don’t get along, but what the Illuminati Media won’t tell you is that Smurfs hate cats because their genetic markers can help in cloning freedom dinosaurs. This is a very real triad of problems facing our world today and we must take a stand against SMISH, SMIDS, and Smurfs.

So I was reading the Red Book by Carl Jung with Tara before her bedtime and came up with these terms. Here is a brief summary:

Many SMISH-sufferers alternate between SMISH and SMIDS on an occasional basis, joining occasionally with Social Media Mobs to hurl Cybercurses at various ObHats, thereby demonstrating their loyalty to dominant SMPeers, and ensuring themselves against becoming an ObHat themselves.

I have no idea what I said there, but it sounds smart right? See psychology isn’t so hard. 10 minutes of reading every night and 3 google searches and you can be a specialist in anything. You don’t need scientist telling you that the sky in blue because of some sort of refraction of light off the ocean, if that was true on land the sky would be brown or green. Stupid Illuminati lies. You don’t need teachers to teach you, you can read books and go to Nader Library for all your information. Or you can use the real truth, the one that speaks to you in your head at night and tells you the secrets of the universe. This is why I feel I am particularly well suited to give mental health advice, because the voices in my head tell me what crazy is. I know crazy on an intimate level because I am connected to the universe through my mind.

See you can’t let social normalities get in the way of your goals or pursuit of truth. This is just like the time I used my employer’s laptop for personal emails and tried to keep it. Never let the Illuminati keep you down. Never.


Charles Carreon Esq.

Be Heard V

Anonymous wrote:

Mr. Carreon, no doubt are you aware of the shitstorm that went on when tosh.0 made a heinous rape joke: such behavior is very problematic. This isn’t a threat of any kind, but I, and many others, would greatly appreciate if you didn’t fling around the word ‘rape’ in such a joking manner, such as with your website: “”

The usage of the word is highly offensive and references a terrifying act of power and violence against another individual that, while I do not wish to diminish whatever trauma you may have received via threats and humiliation due to the oatmeal case, is not comparable to a sexual assault. I would appreciate it if you would put this into consideration and rename your website.

Often imitated never duplicated.

John C. Dorvak is about to get a cease and desist like he’s never seen before. These sort of theories and government conspiracies are clearly plagiarized from Nader Library. It’s like he took entire posts, combined them into one, and changed the words around to hide it. This is unacceptable and I do not find it the least bit amusing. I would be okay with this only if I felt he was being genuine, which clearly he is not because he never once mentioned the Illuminati or dinosaurs. We all know that secret government wire taps have to be approved by Matthew Inman and his Illuminati cohorts. It’s basic logic.

I don’t know where this Johnny boy gets off trying to twist the facts and deceive good Americans into believing that the NSA or FBI act upon anything without their Nazi conspirator’s approval. I will not have my beliefs distorted to fit into some technobabble fantasy land. This is the worst sort of crime imaginable, a crime of faith and virtue. Why do these people think that they can mock intellectual property that others have spent their entire lives creating and researching. You know how many religious teachings had to be perverted to come up with that work? Billions. Seriously. So go ahead and laugh John, but when the dinosaur revolution begins you’ll be another dinosnack.

With steel resolve,

Charles Carreon Esq.

Jack Daniel’s needs new representation.

Look at this. Just look at it. Blah blah blah, I’m a nice Tennessee lawyer. What the hell are these people doing? Not only do they not threaten this person’s ability to speak freely about their brand, but they even offer him money? YOU DEMAND MONEY! This is what gives us lawyers a bad name, people trying to deceive the public into thinking we should be nice and polite. I don’t care if they got the intended result. We are lawyers, warriors of the legalese, knights of financial destruction, bearers of the bar, etc. These guys came out looking like Colonel Sanders (another cloned fast food Illuminati pawn). You never go full Colonel Sanders.

What sort of lawyering is that? How are you supposed to finance a dinosaur army with good wishes and polite word craft? I am going to write Jack Daniel’s today and demand they drop their incompetent counsel in trade for my services. Not only will I not throw their money away at any would be author turned copyright infringer, but I’ll procure the finest dinosaur DNA for a joint cloning venture. Look at the picture above, my experiments with Tyrannosaurus DNA and kitten DNA is really paying off. We are just a few steps away from crushing these First Amendment advocates. With my newly preposed tort and the dinosaur clones, we’ll rule the internet and the world. Below is how I will respond in the future to trademark infringement if I become Jack Daniel’s lead counsel:

  1. Demand at least but not limited to $100,000
  2. Threaten to sue in any of 30 jurisdictions in order to scare the target into compliance.
  3. Demand they hand over all copies of the infringement for destruction and any domain names they control.
  4. Inform them that I can litigate for essentially forever, especially once I clone myself therefor ensuring my immortality.
  5. That once I crush the Illuminati, I will use their time travel devices to erase the infringer from existence.
  6. That I can and will name them horrible things like “rapeutationist” and draw genitals on their faces.
  7. Demand attorney fees in the form of dinosaurs.
  8. Ask that they forward my demand letter to Ralph Nader.

Mad as hell,

Charles Carreon Esq.



WordPress is part of the Nazi conspiracy.

So I am trying to write a post and have all these graphic aids and links to relevant material like the good internet specialist I am, and the Nazis at won’t let me link or upload photos. Their user forums say they are “down” but I know better. Their part of the CIA Illuminati mission: Bowl of Oatmeal. Bastards.


Charles Carreon Esq.

The conspiracy continues.

I have started mapping this evil time traveling plot against me and the decency I stand for. It goes back centuries and time itself has been unraveled to attack me. It all started after the drafting of the United States Constitution. Did you know there were no guarantees of free speech in it? No these rights were amended through the Bill of Rights created in 1789 and ratified in 1791. The Constitution was created in 1787!

Do you see what I see? The Oatmeal sent his legions back in time to intimidate and coerce the leaders of our young republic to include the Bill of Rights! Why? So they could attack me! So they could say whatever they thought about me, and generally be mean stinky pants. This OTTC is wide ranging and at the root of every “freedom” that has been used to deprive me of my rightful due. They are changing our very history so they can bring me battle on multiple fronts!

This is like when they successfully convinced people the Earth revolved around the Sun. If the Earth moves around the Sun why does the Sun move in the sky? You can’t answer that, because it’s false. If the Sun was the center of the galaxy it wouldn’t move! Next they’re going to tell me the Moon changes in the sky because the Earth revolves around that too. Madness. I can’t begin to even understand how these Illuminati have infiltrated every aspect of the scientific community, but the proof is there. If I see it happen with my own eyes, I know it’s true.


Charles Carreon Esq.





Twelve candles I’ve lit tonight

While twelve families are left to cry

These candles to illuminate spirit’s sight

Their souls immortal, as our bodies die

Give them a path through your light

Stolen from us without a reason why

Let these candles burn tonight

So that tomorrow we can say goodbye



Illuminati Propoganda

These Illuminati will stop at nothing, nothing I say! First they try to convince us that water can be a gas, when we all know it’s a liquid. Then they try to convince me that without gravity I could fall into space. Hello? Things don’t fall up! It isn’t enough that they clone Dave Thomas, that they brainwash Ronald McDonald, and they try to fake the moon landing

Now these slanderous infidels try to tell me that dinosaurs are birds? BIRDS?! Yeah like I’m going to clone some Tyrannosaurus Rex and it’s going to cluck around looking for seeds. What idiots. Do you know how big a seed would have to be to feed a Tyrannosaurus Rex? Why would it even need teeth and claws if it were to eat seeds. Dinosaurs don’t have feathers, haven’t they seen Jurassic Park? Idiots. If dinosaurs had feathers I’m not a competent lawyer! These revisionist are trying to rewrite history and science as we know it and I just cannot understand why no one else sees it. This is all part of the OTTC. Just remember, if Michael Crichton didn’t write it about dinosaurs, it isn’t true.


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