I write this from an undisclosed location.

I want to have it known that I am not against the First Amendment. I love the freedom of speech. I just don’t love it when people exercise their freedom in a way that makes me look dumb. There needs to be limits, limits I say. You can’t just go around telling me you won’t take down any posts that make my client look stupid, and then humiliate me in the process. What was I supposed to do?

“I know I said there’d be money… um… well here’s a -picture- of money anyway… oh and a drawing of your mom trying to seduce a bear… What do you think of my job performance?”

You might not be a lawyer but imagine trying to tell a client, customer, boss, etc. that shit. That’s not something you can put on your resumé. How am I supposed to take that sentence above, go to Funny Junk and ask for a Tyrannosaurus Rex? I’m pretty sure those sort of results are what get’s you making these for a living at my age. Bad as that seems, it’s nothing compare to the truth.

Apparently this was all some Illuminati plot to discredit me. I am not sure if Funny Junk was involved in it, but Matthew Inman the clone of Bobby Ray Inman is definitely Illuminati. The Pope Hat Haters are all members of this shadowy organization trying to silence me from spreading the truth about their fascist plot to control our destiny. This is true proof that myself and Tara may be the only people left on Earth who are not being controlled by the Weeping Angels. If you need further proof look at this secret code instructing all Illuminati to converge and lay into work Project Clean Mind, aka brainwashing!

Adam Steinbaugh  •  Jun 30, 2012 @9:46 pm

.– …. .- – / -.. — / -.– — ..- / — . .- -. / -.– — ..- / .–. . — .–. .-.. .

Now knowing this all as we do, I have moved to a secret bunker and will be surviving off of Vienna Sausages and Tang. I do not take this action lightly, but I can trust no one. For the sake of humanity we must go underground and rise again when the NWO has forgotten about us. I just wish I had secured a Tyrannosaurus Rex for the coming battles.

In Secrecy,

Charles Carreon Esq. Defender of Humanity

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6 Comments

  1. Witless Protection Program

     /  July 1, 2012

    “The Pope Hat Haters”

    You misspelled “Heaters.”

  2. Adam Steinbaugh

     /  July 1, 2012

    …—…

  3. Dear Charles,

    I just read the reply to your lawsuit by Indiegogo stating:

    “The simple reason for that is that there never was an emergency here, or any serious threat to anyone or anything. Carreon’s application is gamesmanship.”

    Well played sir. Let me know when you are up for a game of patty cake.

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