Donna Barstow

Donna Barstow,

I have read that you are having troubles with people reposting your content to their site and making fun of it. As I am a Internet Lawyer, I know very well how frustrating the people of the internet can be. It must be even more frustrating that they might be gays, African Americans,  Muslims, or Mexicans. I believe I can help. For the retainer fee of 1 live Tyrannosaurus Rex, I will send these awful minorities a cease and desist demanding that they relinquish their domain name to you, remove all your stolen content from all internet sites ever, and pay $20,000 for defamation. I litigated the sex.com case and won, so you are in excellent and professional hands. Also if you would like we could trademark your name so that anyone who uses it would have to pay you licensing fees or you could just sue them if your disagreed with what they had to say.

Another avenue I am very skilled at is managing client’s trust funds. We could set up a trust so that any litigation taken against you would not be able to dip into said fund. I would expertly manage it and you could feel safe your were in good hands. Please feel free to call me any time at:  900-CAR-REON [$4.99/minute] and remember, when the internet gets you down, Keep Calm and Call Carreon.

Warm Regards,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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4 Comments

  1. P.s., if you Google me, please remember that there are two Charles Carreons. I’m the other one.

  2. Donna,

    Listen to Charles. I have licensed my name and it only cost me two cows, a Brahma and a Holstein (T-Rex food). After another payment of an Angus and a White Face I’m going to start sub licensing my name. Soon I’ll have my very own velociraptor!

    Peace,

    Charles Carreon IV.
    the other other charles

  3. Charles- I would like to remind you that *you* did not win the sex.com case. You simply kept it alive long enough for a competent lawyer to come in and win the case after you client asked you to kindly GTFO (I recall something about you wanting to light incense in court and your client sleeping with one of your daughters). You seem to have a bad memory of this incident.

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