Date Rapeutation

Date Rapeutation: 1. noun, what an individual subjected to a DIRA ends up with, in place of a reputation, e.g., “We know him by rapeutation;” “I heard you like to take ladies out and not pick up the tab. Your rapeutation precedes you.” 2. the act of starting or carrying on a DIRA “The rapeutation starts at 14:00 sharp.” When specifically applied to a dating website social circle i.e. Match.com

Date Rapeutationist: 1. noun, one who initiates, conducts, or participates in date rapeutation.

I was skimming through a dating website and realized there are a lot of guys out there who don’t know how to deal with ladies like I do. These poor schmucks go around making asses of themselves until they one day realize how to be a proper human being. However it is unfair that people then talk about how they,

  1. Didn’t pay.
  2. Expected sex at the end of the date.
  3. Pulled the old “My car died in the woods, let me hold you close for safety.”
  4. Couldn’t stop talking about their ex.
  5. Couldn’t stop talking about their rash.
  6. Asked improper questions like “What turns you on more…” on the way to dinner. 
  7. Showed off their Star War collection in detail including the boxers they were wearing at the time. (That’s a second date thing guys)
  8. Drank milk through their nose and squirted it out their eye.

These poor men don’t need to be ridiculed, they need someone to defend them. That’s me. I’ve been through a lot these past few weeks and I think anyone who has suffered public embarrassment has been raped in a way. Anyone who says different is an idiot and owes me a dinosaur. You put yourself out there in the world and then people don’t like what you have to say, or what you want them not to say? Rape. Someone makes fun of your professional conduct? Rape. Someone doesn’t like that you didn’t pay for your date with them? You guessed it, rape. This is all rapeutation or date rapeutation. I will not stand by as fellow netizens are consistently rapeutated. It’s disgusting and unjust.

Remember readers, if you are suffering from rapeutation or it’s after effects, call 900-CAR-REON($4.99 per minute) for a free consultation about your possible compensation through litigation. Remember, even if you don’t have a case, I’ll manufacture one for you! We will shut down their speech and ride into the sunset on our T-Rexes!

The Great Rapeutational Shield,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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