Did you think I wanted to become a deity? OMG, that is SO male! Spare me the maleness of this world. I’d get rid of you ALL if I could. I wouldn’t leave a one of you. I told that to Charles the other night, and he got a hurt look on his face. He said, “You wouldn’t even save the best man of all?” I said, “No fucking way. You’re still a man.” I said it with a lot of force so that that would be the end of it. But no, he’s got to shout me down. He’s always got a sneaky, smart-stupid comeback. He lives on the strategists. He says, “Well, there are no girls who are any better.” Fucker, he won the argument this time. But he can’t even begin to compare to my win rate. I’ve been winning my whole life. He’s been winning to, but between the two of us, I have the upper hand. He had the upper hand during the first 30 years of our marriage. But I’m going to make sure we go out with a BANG!
Yeah best night ever. First I come home from a hard day of dinolitigation(R) and then my wife of 38 years says to me “I wish all men including you were dead.” Great. That’s how you really want to walk in the front door of your home after a long day. “Hey hun how was your day? Not that I care, wish you were dead, ok?” I mean why not just kick me in the nuts and spit in my eye while you at it. So I told her she was the best ever and I wanted nothing but her. Then she goes and turns that around on me, suddenly I am Emanuel Lasker. So yeah, I slept on the couch and that was that.
I wake up today thinking it’s all blown over and start looking at her website naderlibrary, which I try to avoid because, wow that’s some batshit crazy stuff right? Anyways, then I see this bullshit. Like what the hell? First she’s all bad mouthing me to the Illuminati who read her site, then she goes and says “I’m going to make sure we go out with a BANG!” Holy shit. Great. Just great. First I have the CIA, Mafia, NSA, FBI, ATF, NATO, Illuminati, and Nazis out to get me, and now my own wife is either going to BANG shoot me in the head or BANG fill our house up with gas in my sleep and light a match? Is it too much to ask for one decent night of sleep, a medicated wife, and a gosh darn Tyrannosaurus Rex? I don’t think so…
Charles Carreon Esq.