Bang?

Did you think I wanted to become a deity? OMG, that is SO male! Spare me the maleness of this world. I’d get rid of you ALL if I could. I wouldn’t leave a one of you. I told that to Charles the other night, and he got a hurt look on his face. He said, “You wouldn’t even save the best man of all?” I said, “No fucking way. You’re still a man.” I said it with a lot of force so that that would be the end of it. But no, he’s got to shout me down. He’s always got a sneaky, smart-stupid comeback. He lives on the strategists. He says, “Well, there are no girls who are any better.” Fucker, he won the argument this time. But he can’t even begin to compare to my win rate. I’ve been winning my whole life. He’s been winning to, but between the two of us, I have the upper hand. He had the upper hand during the first 30 years of our marriage. But I’m going to make sure we go out with a BANG! 

Yeah best night ever. First I come home from a hard day of dinolitigation(R) and then my wife of 38 years says to me “I wish all men including you were dead.” Great. That’s how you really want to walk in the front door of your home after a long day. “Hey hun how was your day? Not that I care, wish you were dead, ok?” I mean why not just kick me in the nuts and spit in my eye while you at it. So I told her she was the best ever and I wanted nothing but her. Then she goes and turns that around on me, suddenly I am Emanuel Lasker. So yeah, I slept on the couch and that was that.

I wake up today thinking it’s all blown over and start looking at her website naderlibrary, which I try to avoid because, wow that’s some batshit crazy stuff right? Anyways, then I see this bullshit. Like what the hell? First she’s all bad mouthing me to the Illuminati who read her site, then she goes and says “I’m going to make sure we go out with a BANG!” Holy shit. Great. Just great. First I have the CIA, Mafia, NSA, FBI, ATF, NATO, Illuminati, and Nazis out to get me, and now my own wife is either going to BANG shoot me in the head or BANG fill our house up with gas in my sleep and light a match? Is it too much to ask for one decent night of sleep, a medicated wife, and a gosh darn Tyrannosaurus Rex? I don’t think so…

Hiding,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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11 Comments

  1. Swindapa

     /  July 9, 2012

    This is beginning to have that surreal quality normally associated with watching a suicide on chat roulette. She’s amping up the crazy.

    You *say* you’re out doing dinolitigation all day, Charles. But I think you’re just driving around all day, pretending to be at work.

    When will you file again? Will it be for divorce, this time?

    • No, first I file for a TRO. Then divorce. You got to think through your actions man. I learned that from uh… last week.

  2. lorien357

     /  July 9, 2012

    So she thinks yelling at the internet is:
    1. intimidating
    2. useful
    …. Aside from sexist cartoons and crying rape I am curious what she thinks she can actually offer the world? And fyi, if you have a locked forum where you shout at people you are not debating. I love how much they have to control what is said about them.

  3. Witless Protection Program

     /  July 9, 2012

    Before you file anything, make a reservation for a hotel room. In another state. Under an assumed name. One that Tara can’t guess easily.

    • Carl Jung maybe?

      • lorien357

         /  July 9, 2012

        I can’t tell what is satire and what she intends. I think some of this stuff is “satire”. Then you get this and i wonder if their forum was hacked or if she had a break down.

        and i’f advise Chas Addams. She’ll never think of that.

        • Think “A Beautiful Mind” without the penchant for math.

          • lorien357

             /  July 9, 2012

            Yeah, more than likely. I googled that Chamberlin guy she babbled about. He was a German nationalist philosopher pre-WWII. So our secret is still nazis? She really is just spreading poo on the walls for her own amusement at this point. Reading anything she writes involves a save and sanity loss.

  4. Shannon Lynch

     /  July 9, 2012

    Maybe your wife just wants a Big Bang Theory viewing party with you and all the Nader supporters that showed up last time.

  5. lowestofthekeys

     /  July 9, 2012

    Charles, I think you need to change your focus for this dinolitigation.

    I’m not saying that dinosaurs being brought back is a bad thing, but if you are going to resurrect them, do it in style:

    • Please provide me with all genetic samples of said dinosaurs and technical schematics for their armor before I sue.

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