A business guide to trademarks on the internet.

It really pisses me off when people go around using my name. It’s mine, haven’t they ever heard “That’s my name don’t wear it out?” For Buddha’s sake, if I wasn’t such a compassionate decent human being, I’d get angry. However why get angry when you can sue for trademark damages? You can’t just go around using someone’s name, especially to criticize them, that’s rapeutation. You can only use someone’s name to criticize or sell your own services if they’re dead. Profiting off of dead people’s names is just good business.

Examples:

Joey Ramone

Phillip Dick

Another good way to profit on the internet is to take something horrible and currently relative and link it to your services in order to garner attention. If the internet was around during the Holocaust, it would have been the prime time to register holocaust.com or gaschambers.com because people would naturally want to read about such topics. Then you could give them a brief article on your opinion about the Holocaust and try to sell them your services!

Example:

Catholic Sex Abuse

You see how I worked that? Amazing. When you’re hard up for clients like I am, every little trick helps. Another great trick that helps me direct traffic to my websites is buying domains to books I like. Then I can find other people who liked the book and hopefully they are just as batshit crazy as myself and Tara.

Example:

Child of Fortune by Norman Spinrad

Or you can go the old cybersquatter way and name a site similarly to another site that offers the same services as you.

Example:

Social Media Esq(Original) vs Media Esq(Me!)

See there friends, there are many ways you can profit off the internet in ways you probably could never imagine!

Your Faithful Defender,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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7 Comments

  1. Mark

     /  July 10, 2012

    You, sir, is a force to be reckoned with.

  2. lorien357

     /  July 10, 2012

    But that means Charles CarreonTM is a cybersquatter. Normally I’d ask myself “What would Charles CarreonTM do?” (WWCCTMD?) The answer, as always, is sue despite common sense and legal precedent. But now, I just don’t know. Charles CarreonTM has mislead me. I need a new hero, I’m thinking … Dinosaur Neil. He never let me down.

  3. Nicholas Weaver

     /  July 10, 2012

    Hey, you forgot to include the importance of establishing a reputation as an artist, as that can really solidify your legal position:

    http://punklawyer.com/
    http://punklawyer.com/ADOREWOMEN.htm

    • lorien357

       /  July 10, 2012

      I wonder how long it will take to find all of his websites. A month out it seems like there really shouldn’t be new stuff to dig up. It’s amazing how cheesy his sites are and just how many there are. His actual law practice is perhaps the only semi-decent one.

      • Nicholas Weaver

         /  July 10, 2012

        Its actually pretty hard to find “all names that are hosted on a given computer”. I tried a couple of interesting tricks, that got lucky and found punklawyer.com.

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