I am an expert because I say so.

Just because Stevie boy didn’t consider himself an internet expert after 6 years of working with DMCA complaints and internet copyright didn’t mean I couldn’t call myself an expert after 1 year. He’s just less ambitious than I. It all falls back to my basic, unwavering, point. I am right, you are wrong. I can practice law without a license in Canada because I am right. You can’t give me advice while I’m in Canada because then you’re practicing law through me. See. Makes perfect sense. I just thought I’d bring this up now because people have been talking about my unjust suspension from the Oregon and California bars and because I wanted everyone to see how big a jerk Stevie is. Also I never let anything go. Never. If you have ever wronged me, you better have dinosaurs ready to send my way because I will sue anyone, anywhere, anytime and I’ll try to run up the bill as well. So if you’re reading this Stevie, I’m coming for you unless:

  1. You send a picture of me smiling to Ralph Nader.
  2. You hand over all dinosaurs under your control.
  3. You send a picture of yourself for Tara’s art.
  4. You point all domains you own to this blog.

I hope this settles everything for anyone. To the commenters on this blog, don’t think I forgot about you. Stop your vicious hacking attempts or else.

Legally Confused,

Charles Carreon Esq.

[Update:  As requested the entire file Initial Complaint]

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  1. Nicholas Weaver

     /  July 11, 2012

    Oh, this case was Global Innovations, Inc. et al v. ALS Scan, Inc. et al

    From what I can tell, there was going to be a suit in Maryland against Global Innovations, to which Charles & his client filed a case in California. Charles’s case was dismissed due to lack of jurisdiction.

    The suit in Maryland, where EVERYONE was based, was alleging that Global Innovations (Chuckle’s client) was doing DMCA shell games: setting up tons of adult sites and, when a DMCA complaint came in, remove the image from one such site and move it to another.

    So what does the Great Charles Carreon, Legal Eagle ™ do? RUN to the courthouse in California to file a suit seeking Declaratory Relief.

    Oh, and a GREAT strategy Charles:
    Far from being worried, Mr. Carreon stated that he was pleased that negotiations had not proved successful because it allowed him to “bond with [his] clients and get more money out of them.” (Declaration of ROBERT L. LOMBARDO)

    OTOH, opposing council seems cut from the Charles Carreon School of Law: Call the other guy’s parents and threaten with a RICO suit.

    Hey Charles, could you scan the attachments for amusement value.

  2. Nicholas Weaver

     /  July 12, 2012

    AH, more lessons from Charles Carreon ™ in the proper practice of law: That complaint is great

    1) Don’t let conflict of interest stop you from filing a harassing suit

    2) Don’t forget, if you are going to accuse someone of practicing law without a license (when everything the person says includes “I am not a lawyer”), it helps to work with them first.

  3. Elegy

     /  July 12, 2012

    Satirical Charles, I have conceived a master plan:
    1. Now that Douchebag Charles has outed you, surf over to your blog and post a comment (what a douche bag).
    2. Incite you to sue Douchebag Charles for defamation, as your blog now has a comment in it, whereas he is clearly defaming you by saying that there are no comments there.
    3. ???
    4. Dinosaurs!

    However, upon mature reflection I realized that you would probably REALLY like to keep Carreon out of your personal projects, so I posted this Carreon-related post here.

    I have, however, bookmarked your “personal blog”. Someone as cool as you deserves to have readers, and I hope to leave non-Carreon related comments in the future.

    (please feel free to moderate or remove this post should you feel the need)

    • He’s making fun of a blog I created, used for 4 days and decided I wasn’t very good at desktop wallpapers. Not really hurting my feelings there. I could even delete those pages if it really bothered me. I’ll leave them up so he thinks he’s gotten me, wink wink, nudge nudge. Thank you for your kind wishes though. I will probably create a “real” blog at some time soon, as I didn’t know before now how much I enjoyed writing.

  4. I just met you.
    And this is crazy.
    But you’re a douchebag!
    Sue me, maybe?

    All the other boys.
    DMCA me.
    But you’re a fuck towel!
    Sue me, maybe?

    Before you came into our lives we were so bored…
    We were so bored!
    We were so so bored…..

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