Captain Obvious is obviously…

Who does this guy think he is? If I was a candy bar, I’d be a Mounds bar not an Almond Joy. I find the mere implication of me being a nut (especially if he means a tree nut) to be based outside of reality, slanderous, and just silly. However since Mr. Captain Obvious wants to talk about me using my god granted trademark, I will be suing him for numerous remedies including but not limited to dinosaurs. These internet people who use dark magic to create videos of me are just zombie slaves to the Illuminati. They are mindless vandals and want to create anarchy!

I’ve also been using digital forensics to track this Captain Obvious and without a doubt I can say he is this man:

Bobby Ray Inman. Aka the Illuminati mastermind who cloned himself to create Matthew Inman. It’s the only logical answer. Anyone who says otherwise is a baboon wearing people clothes. Also while researching this Captain Obvious/Bobby Ray Inman connection I found on the internet someone saying that if you mix different colors of light together it becomes white. That’s ridiculous, to prove this false I got out my watercolors and mixed all the colors together and got black. Further proof that the Illuminati are trying to deceive us through their “science.” I tell you what, if you can’t lick it, it isn’t real. Think that over.

Internet Sleuth,

Charles Carreon Esq.



  1. The dinosaurs with the lazers, epicness of epic dino pictures? It was a tv show

  2. Jess

     /  July 15, 2012

    Well Charles, if at first you don’t suceed, keep flushing.

  3. tootie

     /  July 16, 2012

    Would you please tell Tara that Douglas Adams is dead. And, he wasn’t trying to be anyone’s hero. And he didn’t write “the movie,” he wrote 4 little remarkable books.
    By the way. . . . . .
    Charles – why do I only get to comment on a parody site? Why oh why can’t I say anything at American Buddha or Nader Library. How will you know if Ralph wants to talk to you?

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