All charity is scam. AKA Relinquish your money to I.

2 gazillion dollars a year is misappropriated by charities. All charities are evil. If you need to give your money away, do it the American way, invest it. Right now I am accepting all levels of investments in my next level of DinoCloning(TM) the amazing… Raccoonosaurus Rex. After the success of the Kittenosaurus Rex I’ve had investors lined up around the block, but now through my secret blog (the one you are reading now) I can accept your investments immediately. Just be a pal and leave your full name, SNN, bank account number, bank routing number, date of birth, place of birth, and mother’s maiden name in my comment section with an investment amount. Remember, don’t donate, dinoate.

Charitable Investment Manager,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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1 Comment

  1. Satirical Tara

     /  July 29, 2012

    This post is brilliantly written, Charles, in as much as that is possible for a man, but you left out the part about Matthew Inman fornicating with beast-thief-Hellmonkeys in a cesspool of rotten cerebro-spinal lava.

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