ALL OF YOU LITTLE MONSTERS ARE WORSE THAN RUPERT MURDOCK. (And don’t
say I got that from Lady Gaga. I was Lady Gaga before Madonna was Lady
Gaga. She stole that from me.) If Ralph Nader was here, he’d punch
your lights out, and then put you in jail forever.
@VIAANGUS I Know you’re out there, Viaangus. That’s a centurion name
if I ever heard one, and the Illuminati is from Rome. HUH, CURIOUS.
@Ken You’re not even an Asian child, and that probably makes you a
rapist, most likely. Clearly that is a picture of a child you abducted
in order to train into another Illuminati member by making him read Al
Capp cartoons. You work in a Law Firm that represents people in legal
difficulties (AKA CRIMINALS AND OR HATE-CRIMERS.) Also, I don’t find
you to my sexual liking, and that’s presumably important to the
argument for some reason. But your pole will not come near this hole.
Just know that you could have had me, and you ruined it.
@MarcRenandStimpyDazza You suggested Charles should hit me and sell my
body, and worse you stopped sending us a Christmas Card. We white out
all our Christmas Cards and then resell them in packs on E-Bay. Now we
only have a pack of 11, and who’s going to want that? In conclusion,
you’re a misogynist and probably work for the Disney Company.
@Matthew Inman You think you’re just so clever and handsome, don’t
you? So deliciously, naughtily adorable, with your Dennis from It’s
Always Sunny in Philadelphia face and your little pile of money that
could buy so many domain names… Just alpha-maleing around the Internet
with so many friends and making so much money… Just using that tight
little bottom to seduce all the girls into following you to Budhist
hell… so decadent… like the forbidden fruit of the Internet just
waiting for an older woman to teach you the ways of love… What was I
writing about now?
In conclusion you are all guilty of crimes against the people’s
library, and I sentence you all to $500 pain and suffering. Please
remit directly to Charles’ email address, because Kickstarter refuses
to host “Fund my life” projects no matter how many times I try to tell
them that my forum is a digital library.
Yours in Christ,
Satirical Tara Carreon