I am running for President.

After reviewing the qualifications and positions of both Barrack Obama and Mitt Romney, I have decided the only logical choice for president is myself. It’s really about the issues which I don’t think either candidate are addressing. It’s about the plight of the common man, not of billionaires and liberals living off of the system. It’s about people who don’t have giant reptiles and need to fight off shadowy underworld organizations. Here is my plan to restore America to it’s greatness.

  1. Clone ultimate battle dinosaurs.
  2. Crush the Nazi Illuminati conspiracy.
  3. Repeal constitutional amendments 1, 4, 10, 16.
  4. Make trademark infringement criminally punishable with the death sentence.
  5. Shut down the internet.

Awaiting your vote,

Charles Carreon Esq.

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1 Comment

  1. Hey there, Charlie! You know what? You should also make cybersquatting on sites that are in use a crime. Maybe then you’ll actually get some money out of that douchebag who registered your name as a domain name for the purposes of parody, even when you eventually drop the case because you don’t care how much it costs you, as long as it costs the other side more.

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