Due to an overwhelming majority vote there will now be an Ask Charles section for real! Here are the official results for my question “Do you want an actual ‘Ask Charles’ section”:
Yes, please do so as the Charles Carreon Esq. character. 71.89% (463 votes)
Yes, but I’d rather you do it as the actual author. 7.45% (48 votes)
No. That’s a stupid idea. You now owe me dinosaurs for your ridiculousness. 20.65% (133 votes)
So send me your questions (satiricalcharles@gmail.com) and I’ll reply to them as Charles Carreon in posts when I get enough. This will be a regular section on this blog and you can ask really about anything. Try not to be too lewd though, it makes me uncomfortable thinking about Mr. Carreon that way. Seriously. I get kind of sick.
censoriousdouchebag 
Tom Trudeau
/ June 22, 2012Someone has told you that you should have kept calm. Pussy…
http://dont-care-eon.tumblr.com/post/25612682093/we-do-not-typically-condone-using-an-individuals
http://dont-care-eon.tumblr.com/post/25562434864/keep-calm-and-dont-carreon-we-post-this-riff-on
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012I am offended and will be serving a subpoena to your web host. Once I know your identity I will obtain pictures of you for Tara to do art with. Prepare to be penised.
Tom Trudeau
/ June 22, 2012Now some douchewaggler is trying to give you a lesson in asshat law…
http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3824558/King+Carreon+Faces+Five+Fates+of+Fail/
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 22, 2012That is seriously awesome. Keep them coming. I can use them for future posts.
censoriousdouchebag
/ June 23, 2012Tom also, if you know anyone who can actually draw let me know. I need something for this project.
Charles Carreon IV
/ July 2, 2012My name is also Charles Carreon. Now that you’ve trademarked that name do I have to change my checks, drivers license, credit cards, etc…?
censoriousdouchebag
/ July 3, 2012No you can simply license your name from me. I accept dinosaurs, cloning tubes, and incubators as licensing payments. Also cows, Tyrannosaurus Rex loves cows.
TP181
/ July 5, 2012While your name wasn’t specifically mentioned (I’m guessing because of your rock solid trademark argument), I feel strongly that you are behind this: http://www.ocregister.com/news/dinosaur-362252-franks-city.html.
Well played, sir. Well played.
Rachel
/ July 10, 2012I have a question. Have you seen this yet?
http://theoatmeal.com/blog/charity_money
WWCCD?
Dave Canon
/ July 10, 2012I’d like to propose a new internet meme. “Stop! Don’t Carreon”. To be used when someone is either being a censoriousdouchebag like Charles or spouting batshit crazy nonsense like Tara in her blog/forum.
lcasarin
/ November 9, 2012sigh.. I´m a lawyer from Mexico… you guys in the US get all the fun! I wish we had a Carreon over here
Jim
/ November 22, 2012That explains why that apostrophe was actually an accent mark.
Charles Carreon IV
/ November 22, 2012Charles,
I have been invited to Thanksgiving dinner by some VEGAN friends of mine. They want to serve tofurkey. I own several patents on “Inedible crap”. Can I sue them into serving real food during the holidays?
Satirical Charles
/ November 22, 2012You must first draft a threatening letter demanding a payment of $20,000. Once they balk at such a large number and tell all their other guests about your demands, you can go nuclear that they took your private business public and demand a gentlemen’s agreement that they will serve animal flesh.
Johne885
/ August 12, 2014Very efficiently written post. It will be valuable to anyone who usess it, as well as myself. Keep doing what you are doing i will definitely read more posts. dbcaedbcbdgd